Dear Annie,
When did it become socially acceptable to discuss politics, religion, and sex with strangers in a casual public setting? It seems I can’t go anywhere without these topics becoming the topics of conversation! And if you disagree with an opinion, you are attacked. What is wrong with people? Where have manners and social graces gone?
Disturbed in Dallas
Dear Disturbed,
The stressful nature of current affairs, including but not limited to the United States political division, the reversal of Roe vs. Wade, the economic downturn, the global humanitarian crisis, and the ongoing pandemic, has heightened emotions about politics and religion. And the sex thing, well, what used to be considered sexually explicit, is now streaming in almost every home as mainstream 5-star, award-winning entertainment. When anything is normalized, so are conversations about it. What you are experiencing are people’s thoughts and feelings minus a filter.
I find people first became comfortable with this on social media, which has carried over into face-to-face situations. Instead of “thinking before they post,” many dive into social media full of anger and frustration. What they post speaks to a myriad of unprocessed emotions, and like a child, they are reacting to their feelings. I believe some have become desensitized to it, allowing it to show up in-person and in public.
While it is normal to feel frustration, anger, sadness, or worry about an issue based on your personal views and experience, directing your feelings into a behavior that violates your value system is an act against yourself. Ultimately, if your emotion dictates your actions, you are no longer in control of your life. In fact, you are not leading your life. Your emotions – which are temporary feelings – are in the driver’s seat. And, emotions can put you on a crash course that can be a point of no return. Words are easily tweeted, posted, and spoken and not easily retracted.
The solution is self-awareness and self-mastery, getting back to the basics of what many have been told in their Mama’s kitchens: do not talk about politics or religion at the table, meaning while gathered together for social purposes. And Mama probably didn’t think she would have to include sex in that list, right?
While we cannot control other people, we can control ourselves. So, I would encourage you to honor yourself in conversations by speaking up and stating that you respect their opinion, AND you would like to redirect the conversation to something else — in honor of your Mama. I am sure she wouldn’t mind being the excuse!
This article from from the 2022 editions of Inspirations For Better Living Magazine. Get your free 11 page preview today.