Why is ‘change’ in our lives so hard? Because it comes with a price. A price we sometimes are reluctant to pay. We must sacriﬁce something old and risk something new. The old may or may not be positive, healthy and rewarding, but at least we “know” what we have. There is comfort and security – although sometimes misguided – in that knowing.
So, stay in the comfort zone or step out? Perhaps we want and crave change, but don’t believe we can do what we must to get a diﬀerent outcome. “I want to lose weight, but I can’t commit to changing my habits.”
So, we “try”, but default back to our usual behavioural patterns. As soon as you commit to “trying” a new behaviour, you have already given yourself an option to fail. Pay attention to when you say “try”. Instead, say “I will.” Period. Then do it! I bet you have one person/place/thing you are committed to in your life in which “trying” is not an option for you- apply that commitment to yourself. You can do it!
Sometimes change isn’t by choice. Sometimes change is forced upon us, for example, a loss of job or relationship. We are basically again without security, a basic human need. Naturally, we hold ourselves back due to the uncertainty of what is next. If only we “knew” how things would turn out? Which choice would “prove” the best?
We create excuses and numerous reasons “why” we can’t move forward into something new, and potentially better. We often internalize and personalize forced change with self-defeating rhetoric. Others of us may grieve the loss, then embrace the change allowing the experience to teach and grow us more. If it didn’t prove to be a positive change, we recognize we do not have to stay stuck, and so we ﬁnd a way to initiate more change.
Life is ﬂuid and change is a constant, and we either resist or assist it. Which describes you by default or in a particular situation? I would love to read your comments.
Here are some tips for choosing change:
- Acknowledge the reality of what you want to change.
- Admit that your current choices/behaviours are not getting the results you want.
- Ask yourself for permission- give yourself permission to make the change and apply ﬁerce commitment.
- Announce your commitment! Speaking it out loud, sharing it with others, etc., allows them to support you.
- Amaze yourself at how your new commitment becomes your new habit – no longer requiring planning and thought – and enjoy the results.
If you want help making a change or accepting one, connect with me here.