Super Mom – NOT! Redefining What Matters in Motherhood

Let me just start by saying I am NOT a super mom. In fact, I am not a super anything. Superwoman, superfly (is that still a thing?), superstitious, or superficial. I am simply me. When it comes to my role as a Mom, that means I have left dishes in the sink (for days) to sword battle and watch videos (the same ones, repeatedly), collapsed in bed without washing my face or brushing my teeth, driven kids to school wearing my bathrobe under my winter coat, and had my own adult version of a two-year-old meltdown at the grocery store.

Motherhood is rewarding. Uh huh. Yes. Of course. Sure! Motherhood is challenging. You betcha. You know it. You feel me? Right?

I have my own Bermuda Triangle when it comes to being a mother. I have 3 sons, and 3 very different experiences. Tragically, my first born passed away after a short life and complications from an illness related to his pre-term birth. As a mom, I know a grief. A grief that is deep, and burrowing beyond words.

My second was headed toward disaster with severe pre-term labor. A lengthy hospitalization, a carefully executed combination of medications and procedures along with phenomenal prenatal care, we averted what seemed an inevitable outcome, and he was born healthy at 36 weeks. His trials came later as he became a child of divorce. As a mom, I know fear. I have known the fear and burden of being financially responsible for my son and our home, the agonizing fear of dealing with an ex who was at the time emotionally controlling and abusive, and the sleepdepriving worry that my anxiety would affect my son.

My third was born in my second and current marriage, and although I was turning 40, he amazingly encountered few pre-term alarms. Instead, his childhood has been riddled with challenges in health (epilepsy), learning (ADHD) and social acceptance (high functioning Aspergers). As a mom, I know isolation.

More than grief, fear and isolation, what I have known as a mom is actually the best part of me. My grief grew me spiritually as I challenged and played tug-of-war with God until I found myself crying and laughing with Him. Through fear, I found I have courage and determination that is unsinkable. Through isolation, I discovered hidden gifts of devotion and creation. And, through it all, purpose and passion revealed themselves like pennies from heaven.

So, if you chose to be a mom, then let me encourage you to make it super. Choose your kids over dishes, over Facebook, over – well, not over hygiene. Play, laugh and light up your life and theirs with your presence. Find yourself, forgive yourself, free yourself. Acknowledge and appreciate yourself – parenting, like anything in life, is a journey of mission, not a competition.

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