My house is buzzing with excitement because of the beginning of the NFL pre-season. My son seems to be planning his social calendar around his fantasy league draft. It is a game of strategy and statistics, and I admire this “math” skill. I’ve also become accustomed to the sounds of fall, including the commentator voices, referee whistles, and fan cheers. Of course, fall isn’t here quite yet. It will reach 99F today in my area, which is actually a break in this summer’s oppressive heat. But here we go getting ready for what preludes the next six months culminating in the crown jewel of professional football — the Super Bowl.
And this reminded me of an interview I did with Dean Rotbart of Monday Morning Radio. Dean knows a lot about perseverance and starting over when everything seems lost. He was a reporter for the Wall Street Journal during the events of September 11, 2001, and eventually wrote the book titled September Twelfth: Ground Zero on 9/11 with The Wall Street Journal. It is known as a great American come-back story.
The Wall Street Journal’s main newsroom was located just across the street from the World Trade Center and was severely damaged during the events of that day. Rotbart shares the true story of how the traumatized men and women of the Journal and Dow Jones managed to overcome their despair, confusion, and angst to pull together, publish, and deliver a Pulitzer Prize-winning edition of the paper on September 12th.
When he interviewed me, the playoffs for Super Bowl 2022 had taken place not long before, featuring what was considered by many to be one of the best divisional championship games ever played. As we spoke about the principles in my book, The Gift of Shift, he wanted to know my thoughts about a sports column in the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle regarding this game. Here is the excerpt he read aloud:
“Once again, Buffalo, the perpetual pit of despair, when it comes to soul-crushing, gut-ripping, tear-inducing sporting defeats, must add a new descriptor to its regional lexicon. So now the assignment is this: figure out what to call Sunday night’s stunning, sickening, sledgehammer to the head 42-36 OT loss by the Buffalo Bills to the Kansas City Chiefs another end result that will haunt an already haunted fan base for eternity.”
Wow! That’s a lot of negativity and condemnation. And how often do we speak to ourselves this way about a disappointing loss, perhaps a breakup, job loss, didn’t close a deal, or the like?
Like the sports writer, we condemn our future when we allow something to “haunt us for eternity.” There are reasons for the Buffalo Bills fans to feel sad, bitter, angry, frustrated, and hopeless. And perhaps for you, too, depending on what you may have experienced. But for how long before you shift to a new perspective? Eternity?
I hope the Bills players and fans shifted quickly to something like this by asking themselves, “what else is true beyond the loss”:
“We, the Buffalo Bills may have had heartbreak last season, but we made it to the final divisional round, forcing the league’s star quarterback and his Kansas City Chiefs into OT. We are 11-1 against the AFC-East since 2020, which is the kind of record previously seen by the dominating Patriots. Our defense led the NFL last season, and our quarterback is projected to be an MVP candidate this season. We are motivated. We are strong. We are on our way up! Go Bills!”
If the Bills players held onto the past negatively, they wouldn’t be motivated to keep working for their goals. They wouldn’t be prepared for this season. Fans stuck in the past would likely stay home expecting disappointment.
In our lives, we have to motivate ourselves by focusing on what we did well, what we learned, and how we grew. Our fans, often our friends and family (and our inner voice), can cheer us on with pride and encouragement or keep us down by reminding us of the prior “soul-crushing” setbacks.
This season, I will be watching and rooting for the Bills. I am always for whoever gets knocked down and then is willing to take responsibility to revive their soul, recover their truth, and play their best proverbial game. Not all wins are measured on the scoreboard.
What you say about your life affects how you experience it. What from your past needs a narrative change to help you make peace with it? I just love a great American come-back story, don’t you? Be one.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/monday-morning-radio/id536206924
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